Today is a day we never celebrated. Not even once. We tried the first year, but it all fell apart and then we never looked back. We didn’t need to. We didn’t need one day to tell each other how we felt. Life wouldn’t get in the way of that. We wouldn’t get in the way of that. We knew. We know. We always will. As if it is built into our very DNA. Born with this characteristic to just love each other. We can’t help it. And our hearts, filled not with pink clouds, rainbows and unicorns, but with all of the grit that life throws at us. The sand, the dirt, the scars, the tragedy that life has to offer. They beat on. They beat for each other. They beat for everything we have created. Our love. Our life. Our beautiful little girls who thank goodness look more and more like you every day.
And so on this day, that we don’t celebrate other than to take our daughters to Swiss Chalet, because they love it there, I still write this note to you. I write this because I don’t write you enough and tell you how much I love you. It is so easy to have it fall from my lips, but it takes effort to write. It comes easy to you, but not for me. You know that about me. And our life, with all of it’s ups and downs has had one constant. Us. Not you. Not me. Us. And even if it seems that we are always standing on a fault line of life that shakes us where we stand, one thing is for sure. I’ll never let go of your hand. I’ll never stop pushing my cold feet into the back of your legs even when we are sleeping in opposite directions just so we can still be cuddling. I will never stop loving you touching the back of my neck while I sit in front of the computer. I will never stop coming to you in the middle of the night just to comfort whatever stress is banging around in my head. I will never stop looking for you across a crowded room just so I can smile at you and have you smile back. I will never stop listening outside the door when I hear you having a heart to heart with our daughters. I will never stop being surprised at how beautiful you are. Because let’s be honest, I married way up. I will never stop coming to you for guidance. I will never stop looking to you. I will never stop falling in love with you over and over again.
I love you. Forever xoxo
-Ewan (photo by me)