I kept waiting for it. The big epiphany that I thought I was supposed to reach. I thought that I would wake up that morning and some big epic thought would strike me. Move me. Some big realization would hit. As the hours passed yesterday (and I laid in bed with the flu) I kept waiting. Nothing happened.
Even as the clock hit midnight still nothing. Ewan asked me if I felt any different and my answer was yes. No. Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I feel happy to officially be 30. In a way I sort of feel ‘officially grown up’. But I’m also slightly stressed that I’m now closer to 40 than 20. Don’t ask me why. It’s silly, I know.
I got an email last night from my very first friend. We were the same age and lived on the same dead end cul-de-sac. My city days before we moved out to the farm. We had matching pink backpacks and did everything together. Including making her mom a cake for her 35 birthday. At the time this seemed like a momentous occasion. Something to be celebrated. Holy crap, her mom was turning 35. She was ancient! Looking back and sharing this memory together it made me laugh thinking that this is only 5 years away for me. I wonder how our daughters see me? As ancient and as old as we thought her mom was way back when? If only we knew we’d get there pretty quickly ourselves.
Alas, here I am. The big 3-0. It has been a difficult year, but we are blessed in so many ways. I have a husband who loves me. Two little girls who make me smile just as the mention of their names. Family who we adore. Friends who we would do anything for. A profession we love. And a million other things. I am thankful to each and every person who has helped me make it to 30. And I am lucky. Lucky to have celebrated 30 years on this beautiful planet. Many more than some get to see.
So while there is no big epiphany or moment of wisdom, I am okay with that. I don’t need it. I am going to embrace 30 in every way that I can. I am going to listen. Hug. Slow down. And take it all in. I am going to show 30 who is boss. And love every minute of it!